MAX PAYNE

(2008)

written by Beau Thorne

directed by John Moore

reviewed by Adam Armstrong

1.16.2009

The best part of this movie is the trailer.

Detective Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) is searching for the men who killed his wife and infant child. The search leads to a group selling a new highly addictive drug. After her sister Natasha (Olga Kurylenko) is murdered, Mona Sax (Mila Kunis) joins Max to help him punish the men responsible for both killings.

While visually stunning the plot and acting were miles beyond horrible. The bad guys were trying to design a drug that makes Marines tougher. Is this really a problem? If you want to make Marines tougher you could always breed a stronger sand flea on Paris Island. And why is Mark Wahlberg in any movie. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to get a couple of pieces of cardboard, draw the only two faces he can make: confused or angry, and cut them out in the shape of a man and say it is Mark Wahlberg. Would anyone really notice? Mila Kunis comes off about as tough as a powder puff that could be blown away by a weak gust of wind. The big surprise bad guy thing is so transparent from the beginning of the movie anyone who doesn’t guess it right away should be slapped. I know I’m sounding overly mean. It is a movie based off of a video game. But this is stupid even by video game standards. I’m mad not only because I want my hour and thirty-four minutes back, but because this had so much potential and it was dumbed down to the point of worthlessness.

Play the game instead: 1 out of 5