Withersin’s Damned Interview with:

 

Jeremy C. Shipp

I live in Southern California in a semi-haunted Victorian farmhouse called Rose Cottage. I live with my wife, a crazy cat, and a legion of yard gnomes. The gnomes like me, but the clowns in the attic--not so much. I am family man, through and through. I like animals, sporks, and monsters. I don't like mold, heights, and heirarchies.

 

List some of your works (stories, books, poems, songs, albums, movies, etc):

I wrote the Bram Stoker-nominated novel Cursed. My books also include Vacation, Sheep and Wolves, and Fungus of the Heart. I wrote a short film called Egg, which you can watch here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=105265155. My short tales have appeared or are forthcoming in over 50 publications, the likes of Cemetery Dance, ChiZine, Apex Magazine, Pseudopod, and The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. You can read quite a few of my short stories here: http://jeremycshipp.com/onlinestories.htm.

 

Your website: http://www.jeremycshipp.com and http://jeremycshipp.wordpress.com/

 

How can you be contacted? chrismatrix@yahoo.com

 

In your own words, define Withersin.

Withersin is the force that exists in people who aren't happy unless they're making themselves miserable.

 

If you were a sideshow act, what would you be?

I would be a half-man, half-man-eating-catfish. My act wouldn't last very long.

 

What is your greatest non-literary influence?

Civilization. And in second place, films. I am deeply inspired by filmmakers such as Hayao Miyazaki, Terry Gilliam, Takashi Miike, Park Chan-wook.

 

Describe your most irrational fear.

Some say that my fear of clowns is irrational, but I disagree. Clowns are the manifestation of evil, the way that yard gnomes are the manifestation of goodness.

 

How about your most guilty pleasure?

Peanut butter. I eat peanut butter on my cereal, on my ice cream.

 

Name the most disturbing nursery rhyme/fairy tale you can recall.

Cinderella. The step-sisters cut pieces off of their feet in order to fit into the gold slipper. Also, at the end, some pigeons peck out their eyes. Quite a disturbing story.

 

Do you eat meat?

I'm vegan, so I only eat Smurf meat. Smurfs are plant-based lifeforms, you see.

 

What were the skies like when you were young?

Crowded with thunderbirds and wild spirits.

 

Name your favorite garden tool.

My hands.

 

Name your least favorite color, first job and worst job.

I don't particularly like diarrhea brown. My first job: painting houses. My worse job: painting the outside of a house when it was 107 outside.

 

Favorite:  Author, Movie, Music Group, Song, and Quote.

Arundhati Roy, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, The Flaming Lips, Wind by Akeboshi, "There's no place like home."

 

If you were a loaf of bread what kind would you be?

Brown rice bread. If I were made of wheat, I'd be allergic to myself.

 

Weirdest news you have read in your local newspaper:

I once read about a wild boar that attacked the nativity scene in my backyard.

 

If you have a message to the people of Earth, tell us what it is:

Don't look down on anybody unless you're reaching down to help them up.

 

And finally, a question you can take anyway you like:  But Why?

Why do I like Apple Jacks if they don't taste like apples? I just do!

 

Here’s a photo titled, “INEDIBLE NOT INTENDED FOR HUMAN FOOD” 

You have 112 words.  Go.

The suit who thought up this sign seems to have forgotten that giant man-eating babies can’t read.