Withersin’s Damned Interview with:

Brian Schiavo

Which bit? I like thighs myself—very tender. Seriously, I‘d been writing screenplays and teleplays for about ten years, until I became seriously disenchanted over the last few years with playing the spec script game. Yeah, I could get into John Landis’ or Sean Cunningham’s offices and meet whatever development stooge they had working for them, but where did it get me? Ignored or ripped-off. So I wrote a novel, a few short stories, made an art film and hooked up with a small production company in NYC that does low-budget genre films and actually markets them here and overseas. I’m not waiting for somebody else to give me permission to make films that I’d like to see. I’m making them myself. So far we’re entering pre-production on a horror film about a tragic love affair between shape-shifters (love is always horrific) and later, in-between other projects, we’re discussing a possible film about scantily-clad women warriors in a wasteland with really big laser guns. After that, a new twist on the vampire genre—cross-dressing vampires on crack. (I’m kidding, I just don’t want to give it away yet.)

It’s also given me the opportunity to get back to my creative/artistic roots. Now I’m making sci fi weapons, building props, doing character designs and makeup and I’m having a great time doing it. Writing fiction and horror scripts on the side makes it that much sweeter.

List published works:

“Saints of The Cathode Ray Tube” in the Feb 2005 issue of Black Petals; a poem or two; lots of features about such imponderable subjects such as industrial racking in trade magazines; whatever Misty decides to publish. My original screenplay “The Shriven” is being produced in 2008 by Pandora Machine, LLC, a genre film company (http://www.pandoramachine.com).

How can we contact you?

The Bat Signal works best, if that darned commissioner would only remember to replace the burned-out bulbs. Last week it looked like the Green Lantern symbol--much confusion and giant green scissors resulted. Conversely, you could try: schiavo216@gmail.com

In your own words, define Withersin.

1. A horror magazine published by Misty Gersley.

2. How I feel after having been forced to watch a reality TV show—any reality TV show. The stuff is more dreadful than Chinese Water Torture.

3. A state of world-weary ennui that results after reading the newspaper.

If you were a sideshow act, what would you be?

Those guys that can pass swords through their bodies – that would be fun. (Because sword swallowing has way too many metaphors attached to it.) Could I do Punch and Judy at the same time? I’ve always liked them.

What is your greatest non-literary influence?

In terms of horror? Well, have you ever been married? I think just being alive is a great source of inspiration for writing in the genre. There are so many dreadful things that conspire to keep you awake at the dark hour of the soul: the faltering of one’s own body, the death of a loved one, monstrous people who decide to blast as many people away as they can and then mail the videos to U-Tube, trolls like Paris Hilton, the smell of lima beans.

Describe your most irrational fear.

I have dreams where I am unable to walk, instead I must pull my uncooperative body along the ground to get anywhere. It’s horrific.

How about your most guilty pleasure?

Oh man. Okay, I had a dream last night that I did “The Nasty” with a hot vampire chick. I know, I know, how clichéd is that? I’m beside myself with embarrassment. Great dream though! What does that mean actually? That I need to get out more?

Name the most disturbing nursery rhyme/fairy tale you can recall.

Hansel and Gretel. All that cannibalism! First the witch, who basically lives off of the flesh of children! Then, it disturbed me that those punks actually locked the witch in that oven and burned her up. How Grand Guignol can you get?

Do you eat meat?

Only infants and they must be plump.

What were the skies like when you were young?

When I was young the skies were so much bigger, yet also closer. The way they loomed just overhead, it was like the universe was asking me to reach out to it. Now it’s too far away.

Name your favorite garden tool.

A hoe. Hehe, just wanted to say that. What else? A sickle. How the heck do you actually use one of those things though.

Name your least favorite color, first job and worst job.

Pink is a disgusting color. In hell the torture chambers are all painted that color. My first job was also my worst job. It was selling cemetery plots at St. Charles Cemetery on Long Island. Dealing with the dead wasn’t the problem, it was dealing with the living that made it hell. There was a chain-smoking alcoholic priest that would blow smoke in your face and laugh about it. Then the girl that sat across from me had this horrific swath of skin stretched over half her mouth and she talked with a lisp. It was horrible trying not to stare at it when you talked to her. What an awful experience overall. I left as soon as possible. Six months among the living dead.

Favorite:  Author, Movie, Music Group, Song, and Quote.

Author: Harlan Ellison. He is powerfully honest and a vivid storyteller. He’s dangerous and that’s why I love him.

Movie: Geez, there are so many. I love films that are offbeat like The Ninth Configuration by William Peter Blatty.

Music Group: Okay, my bombastic side is showing. The Mission (U.K.). They can play “Tower Of Strength” at my Viking funeral at sea.

Song: “I Put A Spell On You” by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins is the greatest song of all time.

If you were a loaf of bread what kind would you be?

Oatmeal Raisin. What can I tell you? I’m a complete gentile.

Weirdest news you have read in your local newspaper:

There was a break-in at a Long Island home not that long ago. A woman was bludgeoned to death and her sister woke up to the maniac pummeling her. No one knows why he did this and he fled after the sister had the pluck to pull the club out of his hands and smack him back. It’s weird because there was no reason behind it. They had no enemies. The randomness is disturbing. (Hey, it was either that story or “Do sharks have fingers?” on MSN.Com)

Why horror?

See the above story. It’s a way of facing up to/examining the real horrors that confront us. If the heroes of these stories can confront the horrors in their lives, maybe we can to.

Here's a photo. (seen on Interview main page)

“INEDIBLE NOT INTENDED FOR HUMAN FOOD”

You have 112 words. Go.

Why do you hate me?

The truck contains transgenic soybean oil that was made from soybeans that were genetically manipulated so that they would be resistant to Round UP, which farmers spray on their fields. Unfortunately, the USDA didn’t bother to do testing on the soybeans before they entered the food chain and a housewife in Schenectady used some in the preparation of a Chinese stir fry. Overnight, her family’s DNA strands were unraveled, they turned green, grew gills and became unable to take in nutrients through the ingestion of food. Now they all huddle under a rock in a 20,000 gallon tank at the aquarium in Coney Island, sucking on lichen. The truck was pulled over for a bad inspection sticker.

HOME GUIDELINES SUBSCRIBE ABOUT NEWS INTERVIEW